This Secret
by M.infinity
Summary: Roxas has kept this secret for so long. Will he manage to tell Axel before it's too late? Rated T for yaoi and angst. Akuroku pairing. Dedicated to Empress of Misfits.


Rating: T (because of yaoi and death)

Genre: Romance/Angst-ish

Category: Kingdom Hearts

Pairing: Axel/Roxas

Dedication: To Rachy, aka Empress Of Misfits. Merry Christmas! ;

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, but if I did, I'd give it to Rachy for X-mas.

* * *

T_**h**_i**s **S**e**_c_**r**_e_t

"_**If you have a dream, don't wait. Act."**_

Drip. Two men sitting on a bench. Drip. Heads bowed, bathed in darkness. Drip. Blue orbs turned to face the non-existent sky. Drip. The only thing between them a cruel wall of fate.

"Roxas." A name. Proof of existence. A whisper that resounded across the buildings of nothingness.

"Yes?" The smaller figure refused to turn to the other. He was … fearful of what might—no, what would happen. What he wanted and what he needed to do.

"You really are leaving aren't you?" No reply. There was no need to. They both knew the decision had been made. Whatever reality had existed before was only a dream. If one did not exist did that mean one could not truly be gone?

"I have to." Pain gripped his voice like a snake, coiling tighter and tighter. "Sora, the world. They need me Axel." The taller one threw back his hood, exposing his fiery-red hair to the cold night.

"You've always said, 'If you have a dream, don't wait. Act.'"

Axel gritted his teeth, emerald green eyes narrowed.

* * *

"_**He made me feel like I had a heart."**_

"It doesn't matter." The blonde got up, raindrops falling to the ground in small splashes, miniature crystals that reflected the whirl of emotions that were emanating strongly from both parties.

"Why not?" Axel's fiery temper surfaced, boiling over in a volcano of passion. "Just because we don't have hearts, does that mean we don't exist? Just because we don't have something living, something beating here," he spread a hand across his chest, "does that mean we can't feel?" Axel stood up, towering over the lesser boy.

"No. We're here." Roxas said, locking eyes with Axel. "But for us to truly live, sometimes we have to make the wrong decisions to set things right."

"I –," Axel was cut short as the blonde pinned him against the wall, lips pressed against his. After a few moments, Axel felt lightheaded and dizzy, the world spinning, leaving him far, far behind. If there was ever a time to have a heart, now would be the opportune time for one to appear.

* * *

"_**You and I both miss someone we care about."**_

_Two years. Two years with him. Two years, then nothing. Nothing before, nothing after. Just the emptiness that mirrored the endless hole of black he called a heart. When had he realized…? When had he been forced to accept the truth…? He had fallen in love…_

_"Roxas." Axel turned to his friend, who was gazing out toward the setting sun, which was casting small rays of light across the silent town. _

_"Yeah?" Roxas turned his gaze back to his friend while taking another lick of his sea-salt ice cream bar. _

_"I heard… a rumor." He started slowly, carefully wording the sentence. "That you'd fallen… in love." He blushed, feeling an awkward situation fast approaching. _

_"Axel." he said slowly, "you do realize we don't have hearts." _

_"Well," Axel's face now matched his hair, "yes. But I still think you could fall in love." _

_"Axel," Roxas's voice quavered slightly, "you're my best friend. So I'll answer your question." He paused, taking a deep breath of the warm spring air. "Yes. At least… I think I am._

_A sharp intake of breath. The sound of air hissing between teeth. And then, surprisingly, a smile. _

_"I don't suppose you'd tell me who you've fallen for?" Axel asked, blinking. _

_"No, that's my secret." Roxas smiled mischievously. "There are some things I would never tell even you, Axel." Axel opened his mouth then closed it. He knew better than to press him for details. _

_"Just answer one question." Axel swallowed the last piece of ice cream, setting the stick ablaze with a flick of his wrist. He watched the fire for a second, mesmerized by the way it consumed the air, turning the wood to ashes, which were quickly blown away._

_"Depends." He shrugged. _

_"It's not the 'Superior,' is it?" _

_Roxas laughed. "No."_

_Axel let out a sigh of relief. "Good." He smiled. "I was almost worried for a second."

* * *

_

"_**My heart just wouldn't be in it, you know? Haven't got one"**_

"Besides," Roxas broke away, leaving his best friend gasping against the black wall, "no one would miss me." He took a step away.

"That's not true." The black portal opened, shimmering in the air; black tendrils of nothing reached out to engulf the fair-haired boy.

"I would." The lone figure whispered into the still everlasting-night air.

* * *

**Afterward **

"Axel." Looking out across the houses of Twilight Town for one last time, Roxas stood on the magnificent clock tower, the same spot he and Axel used to sit. He closed his eyes, letting the wind sweep his hair and clothes, which flapped like pages in the wind.

"_**Let's meet again, in the next life." **__A statement, not a question._

"_**Yeah, I'll be waiting."**__ A promise, not an idea._

"_**Silly. Just because you have a next life."**_

Now that it was over, his mission accomplished, Roxas felt peace at heart. Or maybe not at heart. What was a heart to a Nobody anyways? Something that could be obtained; an object, an item.

But no, he knew what a heart really was. A heart was something you could feel expand with happiness when seeing _him_ again, even if through another's eyes. A heart was something that would ache when you had to leave, knowing you'd never see _him_ again. A heart could never truly be gone.

"Axel," he whispered _his_ name one last time, "wait for me." And then, he was free.

**//END

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**Author's note:**

Well I hope you enjoyed it! The idea just hit me as I was sitting in solitude on the bus, alone (for once) with my thoughts.

All the italicized and quoted places are actual quotes from the game, which you probably noticed.

My first Akuroku fic so I'm sorry for any out of character-ness.

Not expecting reviews because well... there's so many Akuroku fics.

//A.P.

PS: Sorry about not updating my Shunsui/Nanao fanfiction, but I have finals for just one more day then it's all over!!! ; after that i'll work on the Shunao (there's a name for it now XD) fic. Just did this in my spare time to give to EoM before school let out. I have no idea if I'll see her over the holidays. Feel free to message me with ... anything.


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